Post 402

Doctor’s Corner – Number 38

Dear, I fear that I am suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. The problem is, I smoke Benson & Hedges but only ever buy the 10 packs. With the dreadful news about the robbery at Eurospar, I attempted to purchase my tobacco of choice at several other outlets in the vicinityon Monday but with no luck.

In desperation, I was forced to board the 127 bus to Ahoghill where I finally achieved my goal. As you might imagine, this was a harrowing experience which I am struggling to come to terms with. Yours, Marlow B Rowe.

Dear Cole Bond, as a responsible medical practitioner, I think you need to address the more fundamental problem at the heart of this. Blaming Eurospar for a circumstance beyond their control masks the more important point that you need to immediately seek help to quit Ahoghill completely.

The dangers of Ahoghill are well established and avoiding it entirely is by far the single most advantageous way of improving your overall well-being. Ahoghill-based gum and patches are available but if you find these disagreeable, try something a little lighter such as a few hours in  Cullybackey or Broughshane.


Ahoghill Patches – click to enlarge

P.S. There’s a bloke in Clady does the Benson & Hedges, there’s Turkish on the pack but they’re 100%.


9 thoughts on “Post 402

  1. Complete this world famous verse.
    I wandered lonely as a cloud that floats on high o’er hill and dale,
    When all at once I saw Ahoghill

    Completed verses must not include the word. ‘Transdermal.’

  2. I WANDERED lonely as a cloud
    That floats on high o’er vales and hills,
    When all at once I saw Ahoghill,
    And a host, of olden Daft oddities
    Outside the Offy, down on my knees,
    Flegs a Fluttering on all the trees

    For oft, when on my couch I lie (No better place for a wee fib)
    In vacant or in pensive mood,
    They flash upon that inward eye
    Which is the bliss of Solitude ( Come on the Reds)
    And then my heart with pleasure fills,
    As I jag my arm with Heroin.

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