There is surely little doubt that Portglenone’s most famous son was the eminent botanist, Augustine Henry.
This despite the fact that he was not born in the area, did not die here and very possibly, may never have even visited the village, much less lived there. In fact, his only connection might well be a tenuous family link to the townland of Tyanee.
That said, the people of the district are fiercely proud of the man, after whom is named, Botanic Station, the month of August and that cheating, handballing French bastard, ‘Terrence’.
One would think with such illustrious achievements, Henry would be universally respected but we are sad to report that there has been a second affront to his memory.
We all recall, a few years ago, how heartless thugs knocked over his memorial in Portglenone Forest, the one carved in the shape of a large stone. But if that wasn’t bad enough, it has now transpired that the poor man’s entire identity has been viciously stolen by The Ulster-Scots Agency.
Based on the premise that Gusty’s mother was from Scotland, the agency swooped in the deed o’ nicht and added a poorly spelt and unpunctuated biography to their website.
We would like to take this opportunity to ask for Mr Henry’s legend to be returned immediately and warn locals to be on their guard as representatives of this shady organisation are still believed to be operating in the area.
Already attempts have been made by them to subsume freshly baked shortbread from the home bakery, a plaid scarf belonging to my aunt and the ‘no parking’ cross painted outside the bank in the shape of a saltire.