Post 98

We at Portglenone.wordpress.com sincerely hope you are all enjoying the current heat wave which has seen temperatures soar into the low twenties.

I can assure you that, given some of the bare lady-legs on show around the town, the temperature is rising in the mid-forties, late fifties and early sixties too!

But please remember, summer is not just about special offers on Stella Artois in Lidl or phoning in sick to work and legging it to The Port, it is also a time to remember the vulnerable in society. If you have any elderly neighbours, make sure that they have plenty of Stella in their fridge also and open all their widows in case they croak it in the middle of the night.

Be sure to apply plenty of sun-cream, particularly the young and if you are a resident of Lisnahuncheon and are considering removing one of your duffle-coats, make sure to do so only during the warmest part of the day.

As usual during such hot, dry periods, the emergency by-law banning ginger haired people from going near gorse bushes has been re-enacted. For the good of our fragile environment, please adhere to this exclusion zone… you copper-headed freaks.

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