Post 42

As a result of 18th Century by-laws which were never repealed, it remains quite lawful for any resident of Portglenone who owns more than 15 roods of land, to assign themselves as a magistrate and avail of the old town hall for petty sessions.

Self-appointed justices may enter what is now ‘The Rose Cafe’ on any weekday between dawn and dusk and demand that customers convene a jury.

Happily for prospective miscreants, only a handful of transgressions qualify for such judicial action and they include;

Impersonating a Chelsea Pensioner

Keeping a lunatic without a licence

Hanging a bed out of a window

It must be noted however, if you are not a member of The Established Church, any potential trial must be conducted in Turner’s Opticians.

images (4)


Cat and Mouse for a Barnaby Rudge.


2 thoughts on “Post 42

  1. Lets radicalise this notion of law with the legalisation of cannabis, and anyone dumb enough to fall into a grave and break a leg should be left there.

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