As a result of 18th Century by-laws which were never repealed, it remains quite lawful for any resident of Portglenone who owns more than 15 roods of land, to assign themselves as a magistrate and avail of the old town hall for petty sessions.
Self-appointed justices may enter what is now ‘The Rose Cafe’ on any weekday between dawn and dusk and demand that customers convene a jury.
Happily for prospective miscreants, only a handful of transgressions qualify for such judicial action and they include;
Impersonating a Chelsea Pensioner
Keeping a lunatic without a licence
Hanging a bed out of a window
It must be noted however, if you are not a member of The Established Church, any potential trial must be conducted in Turner’s Opticians.
Cat and Mouse for a Barnaby Rudge.